Blood in my veins: Life Without You

I know
when I lost myself along the way,
that dreadful cold night
of a December day.
I’ve lost
so much love in this perennial life,
I’ve tried to find,
but
I’m still stuck and love deprived.

When I look back,
I still try to reach out to you,
but
an unprecedented reality has befriended you,
a truth comprehended by only a few.

Every breath of me
disbelieves,
every drop of blood
and the cell of which I’m made,
hates those memories.

I thought
I’ll rise back again without you,
but,
my fate was written,
a hurdle I had to go through.

Lost within,
I have lived in a dark pit,
I don’t know
when a part of me became so cold and sadist.

The pain feels so sweet,
the dark thoughts,
they run through my veins, an addiction,
I have lived
and prayed only for affliction.

You gave me
this loneliness,
and went away
to seek holiness.
The guilt inside,
has made it worst,
I still think,
what am I doing here, where I don’t deserve?

I’ve tried so hard
to let go,
but this broken soul
reminds me of you,
Tell me why can’t death set me free?
Tell me why I feel so black and uneasy?

Some
unasked questions,
and
some untold answers have become vain,
the misery of you
is now deeply infused in my veins,
the face of you
shows me the birth of my pain,
and every day I wake up,
the life inside of me slowly seems to fade.

Image by Arifur Rahman Tushar (user:T_ushar) from Pixabay

Synopsis: A sad poem on depression, misery, and emotions when a person loses someone close to him/her.