Plugged In – Music And Life

Foreword 

One man who greatly influenced my childhood was my grandfather, “Bapu,” as we used to call him. 

He was a professor in the Physics department of a well-known college. That brilliant and disciplined personality was my lifeline. Studying under his guidance, writing poems, sketching, playing chess, watching TV leaning on his stomach, sharing my daily thoughts with him was the only world I had. 

When it all started making sense to me, I realized he was growing old and my apprehensions about losing him were increasing every day. My old man promised he would be there for me at least till the time I passed higher secondary school.

But as they say, promises are meant to be broken, Bapu passed away when I was in the 9th standard. I couldn’t believe my fate, and my small world came crashing down. Anger and helplessness, that’s what I felt at that time. The man who held my hand at every step was now gone, lost in the thin air, and he was not coming back. The worse part was that I never vented out my misery and pain, never cried when he was gone. It was building up inside.

Awakening 

Recuperating from the devastation seemed to be a long-lost fight. Crawling through life, I tried to fill the void that he left behind; something always pulled me back towards his memories and thoughts. 

I always had an inclination towards music from the early years, but it was very casual, only for entertainment. Never focused on the heart and soul of a song or its music. I used to listen to random Bollywood numbers, Hindi pop stuff, and the trending boy bands (Backstreet Boys, Boyzone, and others) in those times.

Then one day, at a friend’s birthday party, I came across the song – “In the End” – from Linkin Park’s album Hybrid theory. The lyrics of the song instantly left an impact. “In the end, it doesn’t even matter…,” were the lines I could relate to. There was something beautiful, something sad, something powerful, and something deep about that song. It seemed like I found a silent friend after all these years, someone that might help me vent out the storm that has been boiling inside.

Sometimes, you need someone with whom you can easily share your thoughts, your silence, who can understand you and never question you back. I had finally found that guardian, silent but still could speak a thousand words.

LP gave me an unknown strength, a sense of tranquility through their songs that no other band could do. It was always a chilling yet satisfying feeling whenever I listened to their angst-ridden, hurting, and dark music. Their songs used to tear me apart, and don’t know why, but I always wanted that. The storm boiling inside of me infused with their words, felt like a different world altogether. 

One of the engaging things about their music was and still is that their lyrics match the flow of their background score. Also, the mix of rock and rap was a perfect blend. There was a deep meaning in every song they wrote and a dark reality that many of us go through but are not able to express.

LP helped me find solace in my pain. Not sure if that was a positive thing, but then, I didn’t care. 

Starting college, I came to know about the release of their new album “Meteora,” and I instantly borrowed its cassette from one of my cousins. For weeks, continuously, day and night, I was hooked to that album, repeating and listening to each of its songs an infinite number of times. 

“Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe”, “Breaking the Habit”, “I’ve become so numb”, “If I could change I would take back the pain I would.” I was back facing the reality I was trying to escape.

In the next few days, the following lines were engraved in my head:

“I’ve become so numb,

I can’t feel you there

Become so tired, so much more aware

I’m becoming this, all I want to do

Is be more like me and be less like you” – Numb(Meteora)

Meteora and Hybrid Theory helped me realize that music is not only about sounds and voices, but there is more to it. Every chord, every tune, and every word in a song has its own identity, showcasing a story, with which you can relate.

Music has no definition

By the 2nd year of college, I had realized that dark rock music is what I wanted. People used to raise concerns over my liking of dark music and LP, but the reality was that dark music, and especially LP, gave me a taste of bitter reality. 

There were many other good rock bands whom I listened to then. Bands like Coldplay, Greenday, U2, Nickelback, Metallica, A7X, Hoobastank, Limp Bizkit, Eagles, Scorpions, etc. produced some of the finest music. But, LP held a special place. Whenever I felt down and out, their music used to come to my rescue.

“Fix You” – Coldplay, “Sometimes you can’t make it on your own” – U2, “So Far Away” – A7X, “Boulevard of broken dreams” – Greenday, “Unforgiven” – Metallica are still some of my favorites.

When I started to focus on the sounds curated from various instruments in a song, it was then I realized that the background score was equally important as the lyrics in reflecting your thoughts and feelings.

Bands like Enigma, Era, Gregorian, Enya, etc. were an eye-opener. Their songs had minimal lyrics but still worked like tranquilizers due to the sounds they produced. 

Similar is the feel of Christian Rock bands, Sufi music, tries to connect you to the divine. Ghazals – concerned with loss, pain, and love put across the emotions in poetic form.

Psychedelic Rock bands like Pink Floyd, Porcupine tree, etc. that heavily relied on instruments have produced some of the classics of all time. Their music takes you to a different level altogether.

Music has no language, boundaries, and limitations. Every genre of music has some meaning and it tries to connect you with something – happiness, sadness, misery, pain, love, loss, etc. It helps you display your emotions, and regulate your mood to a certain level. Music surely can heal wounds and bring hearts together.

Unstoppable 

So many years down the line now and the only thing that has kept me going is music – a true friend and a savior. Whenever I need to kick myself back to life, I just plug in my earphones.

“When you feel you’re alone, cut off from this cruel world, your instincts telling you to run…..” – The Messenger – LP rightly defines the state of us in this cruel world but then “This melody will bring you right back home when life leaves us blind….” gives you the motive to live. 

In the end, I would say that it’s not the way you enjoy the music that matters, what matters is the meaningful pieces you gather out of it. Music and life, I guess are related.